Saturday, July 23, 2011
Spirit of Compassion
I think it's kind of interesting and serendipitous and strange and awesome and I don't even know what all else, that Effy's water thing is the same as mine. Being a motherless child with a mother who is still alive but never mothered me. This week is going to be tough. I'm kind of stuck at a certain step because emotionally I'm really not ready to let go of my pain, and I don't want to just create my page and be like look! I'm done! I made a pretty picture! But I really do want to heal this, I just don't know if I can. This is a major major issue in my life and it always has been and I know what I really need is therapy, lots of it, but it seems to be reserved for the rich people only. I don't know. I'll let the page sit with me for a while the way it is, I've written out my pain and printed out the girl's face. So I have a background, and kind of an image in my head of how I want the spread to look when it's finished, but I'm just gonna sit with it for a while and see how I feel. I still crave my mother's love and attention and comfort, which I never got.