Saturday, July 23, 2011

Spirit of Compassion

I think it's kind of interesting and serendipitous and strange and awesome and I don't even know what all else, that Effy's water thing is the same as mine. Being a motherless child with a mother who is still alive but never mothered me. This week is going to be tough. I'm kind of stuck at a certain step because emotionally I'm really not ready to let go of my pain, and I don't want to just create my page and be like look! I'm done! I made a pretty picture! But I really do want to heal this, I just don't know if I can. This is a major major issue in my life and it always has been and I know what I really need is therapy, lots of it, but it seems to be reserved for the rich people only. I don't know. I'll let the page sit with me for a while the way it is, I've written out my pain and printed out the girl's face. So I have a background, and kind of an image in my head of how I want the spread to look when it's finished, but I'm just gonna sit with it for a while and see how I feel. I still crave my mother's love and attention and comfort, which I never got.


  1. oh, dear! feeling so deeply with you!
    take your time! deep pain needs time to heal
    and please, accept my love and hugs
    I could be about the age of your biological mother
    and I love and care so much for you

  2. Thanks Rita that means a lot to me thank you so much

  3. Sitting with it is a good idea. I think healing takes more than one little art journal spread. You will come back to this again and again, and that's totally okay. The point of the water exercise is to comfort those emotions, and to invite compassion for yourself over them. not to eradicate them. I truly feel that's the beginning of healing: acceptance than you feel the way you feel and compassion for yourself for feeling it. <3